dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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