Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
