his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
be right there i have to get my cape
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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