I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
