She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
