Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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