eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
