Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
