she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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