When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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