I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
