after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
