College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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