Heybabeimwearingurpanties
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
