I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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