'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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