woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
