dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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