just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
