its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
