This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
