if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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