It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
