I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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