why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
