i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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