I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
