okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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