Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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