ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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