Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Drunk is a universal language darling
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
