He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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