two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
