bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
