I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
