I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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