Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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