I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
