You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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