just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
