There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
