yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
