i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
