the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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