the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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