she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize