I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
