And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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