he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
