She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Someone signed my nipple.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
